Attack of the Munchies
“If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours, followed by a global food shortage.”
Yea, we know about the messy-massacre that goes on right after the weed-smoking binge, when food or anything that bears a vague semblance to food is shoveled down throats with the desperation of an alley-cat in a room full of mice. But do you know WHY it happens? Well, it turns out that THC enhances your capacity to taste and smell, transforming your brain’s olfactory bulbs into a mammoth magnifying glass, and thus morphing you into a full-blown snack-murdering vampire.
What happens when your derrière is actually an undercover agent for the cops? You get hand-cuffed and butt-fucked. This happened to Grant O’Connor when his rear-end dialled the cops just as he was talking about his big plans to get high, and visit his pineapple-express dealer. Honestly there are more chances of the seeing a fish in pants, than that sort of coincidence. Anyway the dispatcher eavesdropped as Grant spoke about “pleasure shivers” and “tiny little pins.” The cops arrested him ‘cause he had a “small bag of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.” Good job ass-hole!
All the sceptics out there are never going to believe this next story, but it’s as true as the sky is blue. The people down at the Invention-centre have released their latest innovation, a 3-D printing-machine that prints burgers. The cartridges will be filled with the ingredients, all you do is press ‘print’, and poof, the genie, starts printing out your burger with extra ketchup. Get one of these printers and you’re set for life, ‘cause you can spend the whole day, in a smoke-laden room playin ‘puff-puff pass’ without having to rush out to your pal, the vending-machine. Saluð to the good times!