Is it a flying nutcase? A fluorescent party animal? No… behold of Captain Mittelstrahl! Supported by the infamous CleanU team he fights for privacy and security, working hard in the name of all flamboyant freaks of this planet. Like all super heroes Captain Mittelstrahl is a hybrid entity, a bio-tech mutant. One of his special powers is the ability to always excrete perfectly clean and healthy urine. It’s a synthetic brew that can be kept up to 3 years. Since more than 6 years no doctor has ever complained about some abnormal components or values! Packed in neat little plastic bags that are easy to open and don’t even make a lot of noise, Captain Mittelstrahl has his synthetic urine always at hand, which is very handy as he is travelling a lot. Speaking of travelling: This is where the Paranoia Pack comes into play. Jetlagged by his transdimensional missions our super hero gets a little worried about trouble and hassle sometimes. So he carries an ingenious little package that can never be found, no matter if he passes a body scanner, if he’s robbed, down to the underwear, or searched. Made of durable, comfortable, washable fabric it’s the perfect hiding place… of course also matching the size of the urine packs mentioned before. Last but not least there is another mutant part on the body of Captain Mittelstrahl that makes him the James Bond among the go-getting super heroes: The Screeny Weeny. We are actually talking about a second wiener. Well, an incredibly realistic silicone model of his actual wiener that excretes perfectly clean urine whenever he gives it a slight pull. Developed by the scientists and the make-up artists of the CleanU team it was made to work just as straightforward and reliable as a real body part. As you can see: Captain Mittelstrahl is fun-loving and joyful as it can be, but dead serious when it comes to privacy and security. So whenever there might be trouble ahead on your way: Call the CleanU team and ask for his help!
Jan 14, 2014 | Hempedelic