Ask Dr. Goa: Most important rules for after hour parties?

Dear Dr. Goa…,

Hello! I joined the Goa scene last summer. I went to many festivals. Now I’m experiencing my first indoor season. At some point the club parties are over and I was invited to those private afterhours. But I still feel kind of insecure, it’s all still so new to me. What are the Do’s and Dont’s at these afterhours? Can you give me some tipps?

Of course, I’m happy to do so!

Rule #1: If you wanna sleep, go home.
Rule #2: Talk, talk, talk. The moment you fall silent, you lose the afterhour game. You can talk about pretty much everything. But make sure to include deep, complex subjects like the metaphysical and empirical challenges of theoretical quantum physics, talk about deep-rooted traumas of your childhood and your family life, and don’t forget about conspiracy theories and how public transportation is all part of it. Remember: At any afterhour, talking is 10-times as important as listening. Think monologue, not dialogue.
Rule #3: Never ever bring food. That would make you look like a total beginner straight away. Or, even worse: An undercover cop. Nope, even your political 100% correct superfood is not for the afterhours, even though it’s still a great subject for one of the aforementioned monologues. Chewing gum is totally acceptable though.
Rule #4: Hide a bottle of ultra cheap alcohol somewhere and get it out once all the other drinks are finished. It will boost your social afterhour status immediately.

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